Underestimated

I feel so underestimated.

I feel like because I am young (?) that I am not capable of things.

I want to do things (new things) as in things I have not done before 

[bar tending, different types of jobs, types that you can't do with out experience first] 

Can anyone explain how to get a job that they want you to have experience if you can't get hired anywhere without experience? 

Someone has to take a chance.

I am a hard worker.

I succeed and exceed when I am given the chance.

To new beginnings.

And hoping for a new job!

Call Back!

I got my call back for the bar tending job!

Interview at 3 tomorrow!!!

And bonus?!

No broken ribs.

But, still lots of pain.

Did it

So, I've done it.

I am no longer the tattoo less one in the family.

Quote Me Bitch

Missing You

Today was bittersweet.

It was the annual birthday Thai food.

But this time, I had your grandma and Ms. Kynli.

She is just like you.

Her mannerisms.

How she processes things.

Down to how her ears stick out.

Oh goodness.

We played through the afternoon, and we had fun.

You know that though.

I miss you all the time Kay.

But knowing Kynli is around, a little you, makes it that much easier.

Did it

So, I've done it.

I am no longer the tattoo less one in the family.

Quote Me Bitch

Call Back!

I got my call back for the bar tending job!

Interview at 3 tomorrow!!!

And bonus?!

No broken ribs.

But, still lots of pain.

Completed

I have completed my stint as a long term sub.
It was just over three months in a classroom teaching 4 sections of U.S. history to 11th graders and 1 section of teaching World History to 10th graders.
Well, it was a bumpy ride, I didn't know what I was in for, but I feel better for it.
Especially with the praise I have received about how tough what I was doing actually was.
Some aspects I'll miss, and I have a handful of papers to grade but then I'm done.
Had some ice cream to celebrate :)

Communication is key

As adults one could assume, there I go using a word that I know what the breakdown is, that colleagues would be able to effectively communicate.
We teach out students that they will need to know and have this skill when they get out into the workforce, yet we cannot and do not practice it ourselves.
Being the youngest in my building is not beneficial in this area because I am coming into a group of people that have been working together for numerous years.
I am the odd man out.
While this does not bother me, I am aware that there are cliques within professions, but when it comes down to it how petty are we?
Obviously, very.

Subbing

Students using phones in class.
This is posted.
It was in my class.
The one I was teaching.
He was in, my class, ugh.
Am I failing?

Moving on

Sometimes it will feel weird when you realize you spent so much time with someone you are no longer connected to, but that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be. We all are.

Choices

Looking at my life... I feel the path I took, the one that got me to where I am today, has run its course.
I knew/know I have not been happy for awhile. But I feel I'm ready to continue on.
Obviously, I cannot say, "Hey, welcome back. Lets be done."
It will take more "tack" than that.
But, I feel a sit down in my future.
The downside to this is that I have made some poor choices that will effect this conversation.
Why does $ have to be an issue?
I understand it is what propels our society, but I hate that it has dominated my life for at least two years.
I am ready to be done.
Nine years is four too long.
Compliancy is masking unhappiness.
I cannot settle.
I only wish there was someone to bounce these ideas off of that would not judge past decisions and has no feelings either way.
I guess I will see.