Sadness

You know the days you just feel sad? And you can't seem to articulate why?
Today, luckily, is not one if those days for me. But regardless of that, there are the lingering days that I have sadness wash over me and I don't want to talk about it.
The "one who got away," the "lost best friend." Despite the reason we all just feel sad.

People in our lives

So, we have people in our lives. Some good. Some bad.
But regardless they are in our lives for some reason.
Recently I have thought that the people in my life were pretty good....
Well, I am now realizing I am being taken advantage of.
I try to be nice, I try to help out to the best of my ability.... But I feel like I am being used more and more.
And I know I can't say anything.... No room to speak, as the saying goes.... But...
Frack

Building Sub

Well, this is way overdue. I am now the building sub at the school I interned at! Super exciting, 1) Because I actually have a paying job, 2) Because I know all the kids from last year.
So here is the aggravating part. Seventh graders. Well, not so much seventh graders, as much as the fact that I am thrust into any room and just supposed "to know." So, this whole week, and some of last, I have been teaching Math class. Anyone who knows me... or ANYTHING about me, I do not do math. Well, I have been the sub in a 7th grade math and Integrated Algebra class. OH GOD. I couldn't do fractions in school, and now I am supposed to teach fractions to seventh graders? On top of teaching graphing two lines in slop-intercept form to find a solution?! HELP! I made it through. And I have two more days next week. Let's just hope that the days go quickly.. these seventh graders are trying my patience.

Spring Break

Well now that Spring break is over, I have successfully managed to do nothing.
Super.
No grading. No entering of the grades. No working on my portfolio. Dangit all.
Which just stresses me out a little bit. Considering there is not a lot of "free time" until my entire student teaching section is over.
So now I am stressing some.
Doesn't help that my car's camshaft broke and now I have to drive my gas eating explorer. Yay! Not. Also, quitting my job.... Makes it so all these bills enjoy their pile-up.
It should get better right?

Quit

I can see why so many people drop out of the secondary education program in the second semester. It doesn't help matters when you have a class of hellions who talk constantly. Twenty-nine is a lot of 8th graders talking.
To make matters worse, I had one "complain" about my teaching to their parent. Result? I get reprimanded in a sense. Talk about bad morning. All because a parent is an influential person on the base. Super frustrating, I just don't know that I am made to teach 8th graders. Maybe it is the fact my class is always at the same time, directly after lunch. It never rotates, as the other classes do.

Heading North

Well, I got my placement for Rural Practicum.
Wainwright, Alaska.
I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I have to go with a girl from class who doesn't really talk a lot and I like her mentor more than her.
Maybe I will e-mail him first for information.
Thank goodness it is the week after Spring Break though, give me some time off!
I was concerned for awhile there.
Well here is an image for you of where it is.

Finished Both sets.

I finally finished both sets of lessons plans. Unfortunately it was today that I finished this weeks lesson plans for the U.S. History section of my student teaching. It was stressful to say the least. But I felt the weight lift as I type the last few letters. Then the new stress came down. Class tonight. Oh wait! You need a text book, and there is an assignment. JESUS! I have enough with all of my kids. I do not need your crap too. Just saying.

Planned a week..

Alright. I planned a week.
Of history.
Geeeeeze.
First, I had to type all of the standards out of the handbook, so I could have them listed in my lesson plans.
Ugh.
Then, I had to go through my binder of activities to pick out things to do for the week.
I hate that I only get 55 minute classes, except on Wednesday's where I get 40. Because they do not believe in block scheduling.
But that's a different story.
So I will make my copies in the morning.
My only real saving grace is that I can "wing" my English classes. We are reading "Into Thin Air" and I can maneuver in that class very easily. And the lesson plans easily come together.
I am just nervous about the History lesson plans....

A little freaked out

I am freaking out a little bit right now.
I am supposed to have my lesson plans DONE for BOTH of the subjects I teach which is FIVE classes right now.
Well, I don't.
I just got an e-mail from one of my mentor teachers informing me that I need to have them sent to her as well as the assistant principal's secretary on Sunday's...
They still are not done...
I still do not know that I will not have them done....
And I didn't do them last night....
I feel like I am failing.
I do not like this feeling. I also do not like the input I was given. I feel like I do not know anything about the middle school side of teaching. Because I do not get the same feedback on the High School side.

UGH.

Meant to be

I love that as I walk into my eighth grade history class I am bombarded by questions of when I am going to be teaching their class.
They seemed let down that I am taking over Tuesday instead of today.
One more week and we will begin the Civil War and Reconstruction.
And I can hardly wait.

January 6th

What is the issue with guys?
This is not a rant. I just legitimately want to know. After he makes a huge deal about me "not buying tickets to the concert" he even said, "Up to you...
It won't be as fun by myself"
Seriously?! Well I went. Much to my surprise he was buying some chick, who was poorly dressed mind you, drinks. Well super. Then, we walk to the floor.... There she is.
By the time I left, 11:51pm, they were holding hands and she was rubbing all up on him. Fantastic.
I would really enjoy knowing when I'm going to be "not necessary"
Common courtesy?!
Jesus.
I don't know why I get upset, he does this a lot.
Gave it thirty minutes past wish time.
HAHAHAHAHAHA

Thinking

"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired." -- Mother Theresa

I have been thinking about things.
With a FB post that is upsetting to me I want to convey my deep sorrow for the family. I understand the pain associated with the loss of their niece. She was my best friend. But now, for you to have to experience it again with your own daughter? Life is not fair.
"Only the good die young: they say.

The post reads...

"Hey all, I could use your prayers right now! 9 am tomorrow I head to the cardiologist with my 22 yr. old daughter. Left ventricle blockage and some sort of misfire in her heart rhythm. She does not have PH (that we know of) but this is scary since its kinda how it all started with my niece, Kayla Marie. I must say I am NOT freaking yet, I am willing myself not too but its right there under the surface! I will update you when I can. Thank you Phamily! I love you! (Brenda)"

This pained me to read. I do not know how all the bad things can begin to happen to a single family. Yet, my heart aches while I have never met them. I knew the niece and the sister to this woman. But have never met the two involved in this fight.

Love to all.

First day back.

"In education it isn't how much you have committed to memory or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't. It's knowing where to go to find out what you need to know and it's knowing how to use the information you get." --William Feather

Yesterday was my first day back at the school building.
I am getting so excited to have my own class to teach, despite the fact I will not get paid. I love teaching and watching these students for the last few weeks of their first semester cemented my love. I have always wanted to teach. Now I am putting into practice the time and effort I have strived for in the last 17 years of my life. It is fulfilling. But on a different level. I worked to get myself through college and now I get to see what it will be like to "be the teacher" but there is a different satisfaction in doing it.
I have had the best experience with my mentor teachers. They are great. I could not have asked for more helpful and caring people. Without them I do not know that first semester would have gone as smoothly. for that I am truly grateful.

First Semester as a graduate

"Learning is finding out what we already know. Doing is demonstrating that you know it. Teaching is reminding others that they know just as well as you. You are all learners, doers, and teachers."
-- Richard Bach

While this blog did not get updated the way I would have hoped/ imagined it would, I do have some exciting news!
In November I finished the only class that was holding me back from actually graduating! I also, to boot, received an 'A' in the class and on every single paper I submitted to him. SUCK IT. I worked incredibly hard on it and it was so worth it to have him have to acknowledge that I am a good writer.
On another note. I also got a 4.0 this semester in all of my grad classes! A pass in seminar and an 'A' in the other two! I was ecstatic. I worked this whole semester while teaching and going to school. UGH. Sometimes I do not feel people understand that this, teaching, is my passion and I am trying my best to get through. I also received a 125/125 on my work sample in my methods class. OH MY GOODNESS. It was 189 pages long an included student work, part of the reason it was so long, but I got it done.
My instructor wrote...
"This is an exemplary WS in every respect. You obviously put in a ton
of work on it, and hence, the reason it came in later than promised.
Not to worry. I was singularly impressed by just about everything you
did. Your overall grade is 125/125. I couldn't find anything to
improve without sounding really picky. Again, great work."
And on the comment sheet he wrote...

"This is nicely organized…thank you.  Your overview and rationale provide a solid context for the unit. 

You lesson objectives were excellent.  You might add how they will be measured (…as measured on a teacher made rubric) but otherwise, they are clearly written. 

Reading strategies are well done.  You made my job easier by listing them separately from your lessons so I didn’t have to hunt for them.  Again, thanks.

Your lessons are extremely well laid out and thorough.  In all, this is an exemplary job.  The detail and obvious amount of work you put into it speaks for itself.  

I was impressed by everything:  use of hooks, clear objectives, thorough planning, and detailed reflections.  Adding the student notes assessing you was another nice touch.  


Great job."

OH.MY.GOODNESS.
How excited was I? I forwarded this to my mentor teacher as soon as I got it.
Overall. Good first semester as a graduate student.