Completed

I have completed my stint as a long term sub.
It was just over three months in a classroom teaching 4 sections of U.S. history to 11th graders and 1 section of teaching World History to 10th graders.
Well, it was a bumpy ride, I didn't know what I was in for, but I feel better for it.
Especially with the praise I have received about how tough what I was doing actually was.
Some aspects I'll miss, and I have a handful of papers to grade but then I'm done.
Had some ice cream to celebrate :)

Communication is key

As adults one could assume, there I go using a word that I know what the breakdown is, that colleagues would be able to effectively communicate.
We teach out students that they will need to know and have this skill when they get out into the workforce, yet we cannot and do not practice it ourselves.
Being the youngest in my building is not beneficial in this area because I am coming into a group of people that have been working together for numerous years.
I am the odd man out.
While this does not bother me, I am aware that there are cliques within professions, but when it comes down to it how petty are we?
Obviously, very.

Subbing

Students using phones in class.
This is posted.
It was in my class.
The one I was teaching.
He was in, my class, ugh.
Am I failing?

Moving on

Sometimes it will feel weird when you realize you spent so much time with someone you are no longer connected to, but that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be. We all are.

Choices

Looking at my life... I feel the path I took, the one that got me to where I am today, has run its course.
I knew/know I have not been happy for awhile. But I feel I'm ready to continue on.
Obviously, I cannot say, "Hey, welcome back. Lets be done."
It will take more "tack" than that.
But, I feel a sit down in my future.
The downside to this is that I have made some poor choices that will effect this conversation.
Why does $ have to be an issue?
I understand it is what propels our society, but I hate that it has dominated my life for at least two years.
I am ready to be done.
Nine years is four too long.
Compliancy is masking unhappiness.
I cannot settle.
I only wish there was someone to bounce these ideas off of that would not judge past decisions and has no feelings either way.
I guess I will see.

Sadness

You know the days you just feel sad? And you can't seem to articulate why?
Today, luckily, is not one if those days for me. But regardless of that, there are the lingering days that I have sadness wash over me and I don't want to talk about it.
The "one who got away," the "lost best friend." Despite the reason we all just feel sad.

People in our lives

So, we have people in our lives. Some good. Some bad.
But regardless they are in our lives for some reason.
Recently I have thought that the people in my life were pretty good....
Well, I am now realizing I am being taken advantage of.
I try to be nice, I try to help out to the best of my ability.... But I feel like I am being used more and more.
And I know I can't say anything.... No room to speak, as the saying goes.... But...
Frack